O Canada!

The 21^st Winter Olympiad is nearing a close, and after extensive review, I am ready to disclose my opinion on these Games and the Winter Olympics in general. First and foremost, let’s all agree that the Winter Olympics are the red headed step child of the Summer Games.[1] There aren’t as many events, as many athletes, and the quality of sports is not close.

With that out of the way, Canada is not stepping up to the plate this Olympics. The Opening Ceremony was marred by equipment that didn’t work and Canadian performers that were sub par. As far as the Games are concerned, Canada is way behind the pace in medals and don’t look to be turning it around. The US on the other hand is leading the medal count and the US hockey team beat Team Canada which is really the biggest thing.

As far as the actual Games, I have decided to review each. Each sport will get my brief opinion on what is or is not cool about it; any notable facts, figures, or stats; and finally, a grade of Must See TV, Acceptable, or Needs to Be Abolished. Let the games begin!

Alpine Skiing – A classic winter sport and it wouldn’t be a Winter Olympics without it. What is more wintery then skiing as fast as you can down a big mountain? I don’t however get amped up to watch it.

Grade: Acceptable

Biathlon – A sport that is a combination of shooting and skiing. Without a doubt, the coolest thing is that they shoot stuff. PTI mentioned they should play Bond music. I could not agree more. It’s definitely a sport that I wish I was good at but really hate watching.

Grade: Acceptable

Bobsled – Cool Runnings did more for bobsledding then any movie has done for an Olympic sport. I’m not all that interested in it but it’s definitely pretty cool. For some reason however, the bobsledders wear skin tight uniforms. This doesn’t help the watchability and I’m a little perplexed why they need the suits. I’d rather have some more padding if I was in danger of falling and sliding on ice.

Grade: Acceptable

Cross-Country – Cross country skiing is the most aerobic workout you can get. I respect the athletes that do cross-country skiing. However, the biathlon and nordic combined have cross-country skiing as part of their events. This fact leads me to believe that a normal cross-country race is unneeded and should not be a part of the Games.

Grade: Needs to be Abolished

Curling – This is in my opinion the best sport. Who doesn’t love shuffleboard on ice? I have no knowledge of the game or how the scoring works but am mesmerized every time I watch it. Some would say that any “sport” that you could drink beer and smoke during is not a sport. That may be but curling definitely needs to be part of the Winter Olympics. Where else could we possibly see moments like this?

Grade: Must See TV

Figure Skating – Another classic Winter game. I hate it although it has its moments. Evan Lysacek stealing Gold from the Russian dude was awesome.[2] Pairs and Ice dancing are just stupid. I have no more to say about figure skating.

Grade: Acceptable[3]

Freestyle Skiing – Freestyle skiing incorporates the events of Aerials, Moguls, and Ski Cross. All of these are awesome events that have skiers doing flips and ****.[4] Ski Cross is also probably one of the most exciting events with 4 guys racing each other to the bottom. Too bad the course sucked.[5] Watch this during next year’s X Games and you will be amazed.

Grade: Must See TV

Hockey – Over the past couple of years due to HD and a few NHL games, hockey has become one of my favorite sports. I am in completely awe of how gifted at skating the players are and then to be hitting, shooting, and defending on ice really do put the icing on the cupcake. The US victory over Canada brought together my house and was a great example of how good hockey can be.[6] Unfortunately, the NHL is thinking of not allowing its players to play next time. This would cripple Olympic hockey and my heart. Don’t do it Bettman!

Grade: Must See TV

Luge – The death of a Georgian luger before the Games really put a damper on this sport. When looked at by an outside observer, one can only conclude that all lugers are crazy! Going down an ice track on just a little sled at speeds of over 90 MPH is absolute insanity! This sport needs to be abolished before more tragedies occur.

Grade: Needs to be Abolished

Nordic Combined – I’m gonna make a bold statement and say that Nordic combined is the most underrated event. It is two events in one: Ski Jumping and Cross-Country skiing. How well you jump determines how far ahead or behind you start the cross-country. This events turns out to be very enjoyable in the cross-country skiing part because you have people coming from a minute back to win a gold medal. It’s really a sport for anyone who likes watching underdogs.

Grade: Must See TV

Short Track – This is a sport that is pretty fun to watch. You have racing, fast speeds, and ice. When involved in a sport other than luge, it can be very exciting. This is also a sport that South Korea seems to dominate for some odd reason.[7] On the negative side, Apollo Ohno’s soul patch is distracting. Overall though, the skating is pretty exciting.

Grade: Acceptable

Skeleton – If you thought lugers were crazy, meet skeleton riders. They do pretty much the same thing as lugers, only they go down head first. If you thought I was against luge, then I am totally beyond a reasonable doubt against skeleton. What normal parent lets their kid start doing this?[8]

Grade: Needs to be Abolished

Ski Jumping – Perhaps the most boring sport unless it’s a part of Nordic combined. Every jump looks the same and the weather has to be a certain way to go. It’s really only good for determining the order for the second part of Nordic combined. Other than that, it’s unacceptable.

Grade: Needs to be Abolished

Snowboarding – I love snowboarding so there is a bit of bias in this review, but the Halfpipe and Snowboard Cross are great. While each is originally X Games, they both belong here. If not for these Olympics, we would have missed this.

Grade: Must See TV

Speed Skating – This speed skating refers to the long track portion. It is definitely not near as cool as short track.[9] The positive of long track you ask? Some guy losing because of his coach told him to switch lanes when he shouldn’t have. The skater was mad, but seriously you should know yourself which lane to go in if you’ve been skating for more than a month.

Grade: Needs to be Abolished

There you have it: A complete guide/review to all things Winter Olympics. IOC, I expect to see my requests taken to heart.

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[1] I don’t think this is really that bad of a thing. The Olympics in general are a tad overrated.

[2] The Russian then went on to give himself a platinum medal saying he really had beat Lysacek. Oh really? That’s not what your silver medal says!

[3] Barely

[4] Shoutout to SNL http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8F3UE9qFsg (Warning: Bad Language and T-Pain)

[5] Just watch this final race and where the one guy falls, pretty much one person per race did. It was really annoying to see such a bad course used for Olympic medals.

[6] Shame on NBC for having ice dancing on instead

[7] Gotta love the countries that dominate one sport

[8] I propose that any parent that does be sent to jail for putting the child’s life at risk.

[9] Kinda how the mile is nowhere near as cool as the 100M

FAN-Tastic Post

In honor of the Super Bowl Sunday and the fact that I’ve had this idea in my head for quite some time now, I am going to rant a little bit about fans of sports teams. A big, big disclaimer for this blog: I am a huge fan of sports, and I engage in the same things I will rant about.[1]

For awhile now fans I’ve seen at numerous sporting events have gotten under my skin. I’ve probably gotten under the skin of fans around me. The nature of being a fan these days is that of immersing oneself into a team so much, that we feel like a member of that team. Except since we aren’t a part of the team, we can ride the high but then disengage during the lows. I’ve thought of some of my least favorite fan tendencies and will share them now.[2]

#1 – Extraordinary expectations

These bug me the most. As an avid Jacksonville Jaguars fan, I knew that coming into this year with a team that had over 50% turnover and about 30-40% rookies that it would be a tough year. Apparently other Jags fans didn’t get the memo. In an online poll, over 50% said that they believed the team should go to the playoffs with some even expecting a Super Bowl berth. Please! Give me a break. Reason and logic alone should tell someone that with these circumstances an 8-8 season would be great. The Jags came out the gate roaring making those 50% look smart, but a four loss skid at the end of the year had many fans in an outrage. They called for a new quarterback, a new coach, and worst of all, Tim Tebow.[3] Also, IU basketball fans may know this feeling. IU has played some great games of late, but then has dropped some winnable ones. This should be expected with a young team. You don’t expect a child to ride a bike perfectly the first time, so why expect these freshmen to win every game now? And the topic of IU leads me to…

#2 – The last game is all a fan remembers

I think anyone from IU can agree that IU has won a couple games it probably on paper shouldn’t and lost others that they should have. This is not abnormal for a young team or any team really. However, my issue comes with how fans react to these games. A loss to Loyola (MD) in December drew comments such as, “This is the worst IU team ever,” “IU won’t win a Big Ten game this year,” and “I really regret season tickets and wish that Kelvin Sampson wouldn’t have made all those phone calls because then I could be seeing a nationally ranked team every week instead of this crappy team filled with freshmen and sophomores that won’t be good until after I graduate from college, meaning I’ll never see a tourney game featuring IU, except for that one my freshman year where the team gave up on Dan Dakich because somehow they thought that Kelvin was unjustly fired even though he broke NCAA RULES!!”[4] Why can’t fans keep some perspectives and enjoy the highs, and view the lows as a temporary setback?[5]

#3 – The fan who didn’t play the sport, but thinks he/she knows as much as the coach

I played football in high school. This means that at one point in my life I pulled on a power right, slanted into the C gap, and long snapped on a punt.[6] This fact enables me to make general statements during a football game such as, “Running inside might not be a great idea against this six man front” and “Blitzing the house against Peyton Manning is probably a bad idea if no one actually hits, no touches, Peyton.”[7] What irks me is the guy who didn’t play football at any level and is telling me how to run a triple option. I’ve done this! I know how it works! Also, many times the suggestions thrown at the coach from the couch don’t really make much sense. I have no problem disagreeing with a play call, but don’t try to take the coaches spot. He’s there for a reason. That reason is probably that he is smarter than you.

#4 – The uninformed fan

This is my personal favorite, only because I have a great story.[8] As a fan of a team, you are to be there at all times. Part of this decision to be a fan is being relatively caught up on the ins-and-outs of your favorite team. For me, this involves frequent visits to www.jaguars.com for the latest news coming out of Jacksonville. At the very least, a fan should know the next opponent. And you should definitely know your own team. When I went to the Jacksonville Jaguars vs. Indy Colts game this year in week one, I was met with some animosity. It probably had something to do with my Maurice Jones-Drew jersey.[9] I am prepared for smack talk and for the most part let it slide. My hopes are that the Jags can win and throw it back in their face later. Well as I’m walking to my seat for the game, a Colts fan in a Bob Sanders jersey[10] yells to me, “Bob Sanders is gonna knock MJD out!!” There was only one little problem with this. Bob Sanders wasn’t playing in that game. I politely told the man this news while other Colts fans writhed in pain at seeing one of their own fail so miserably. If you’re going to root for a team, be up to date on injuries, schedule, and any other pertinent news.

#5 – Unnecessary booing, swearing, and general un-fanness

I understand that fans have a right to boo since they paid for the ticket. That being said, booing a young, inexperienced team at home is probably not what a true fan would do. Fans are meant to an extra teammate. Teammates don’t boo each other and put them down. Instead, they pick each other up. That is what fans should do. Also, IU students[11] have a great knack for cussing. What good is this? I know of no ref that would hear a fan chanting an obscenity and think that he should give us a good call. Also, the booing and cussing of Ralph Sampson III at IU a few weeks ago was atrocious. Its one thing to be a villain, but this guy was getting booed and harassed because of his dad.[12]

Being a fan gives us a reality that we couldn’t make happen ourselves. I feel that as a fan, one should feel lucky that he can even watch and enjoy these sports and view them as that, sports. Being a fan doesn’t involve personal health or wealth risks.[13] Sporting events should be enjoyment and a way to have a great time. If this perspective is kept intact, the world will be a better place.[14]

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[1] Perhaps just not as much as some people

[2] In no particular order

[3] Tim’s a great guy. Just not going to be much of a NFL player, if you catch my drift

[4] Sorry, that was my comment after the game

[5] Viewing the lows as a setback doesn’t apply to Knicks, Browns, Texans, Raiders, Lions, Rams, Royals, Pirates, Clippers, Nets, and any other really, really crappy sports franchises

[6] Okay, long snapping is pretty much all I did, but I knew what all the other stuff meant and could do it

[7] Actually, that’s a comment I make almost every time the Jags play the Colts

[8] To come later

[9] Just a guess

[10] This turns out to be a tad ironical

[11] And others elsewhere, IU just happens to be the ones I see the most of

[12] His dad, Ralph Sampson Jr., was one of the biggest busts in NBA history. Although some scholars of the game (Bill Simmons and Chuck Klosterman) argue that he was just grossly overrated.

[13] Assuming you don’t bet on games, which is illegal in the United States outside of Vegas

[14] Or maybe not, there will still be wars, famines, and natural disasters, but I guess it’s a start!